


Of Bella Rehearsals and Safe Sex Quizzes

by Rejection_isnt_failure



Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: Beca/Chloe Implied, Bellas Rehearsal Gone Awry, F/F, Hilarity Ensues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-23
Updated: 2018-06-23
Packaged: 2019-05-27 12:36:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15024755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rejection_isnt_failure/pseuds/Rejection_isnt_failure
Summary: Ever wonder how Aubrey has the patience to deal with a large group of over enthusiastic women? Answer, she doesn't. Add a simple Safe-Sex quiz and imagine what kind of responses you'd get.





	Of Bella Rehearsals and Safe Sex Quizzes

**Author's Note:**

> I thought and wrote most of this a while ago and it was simply too funny for me to not post.
> 
> As always, the film and characters belong to Kay Cannon.
> 
> Enjoy

It had been a long and gruelling day of rehearsals for the Barden Bellas one Tuesday evening. The girls were exhausted and honestly, their attention was no longer on the choreography or singing techniques.

 

The oldest member stood before everyone and clapped her hands together, trying to quieten the suddenly rowdy group of girls. _Good God,_ Aubrey thought as she rolled her eyes in obvious exasperation, _they were all acting like 5 year-olds on a sugar high_.

 

Seeing no other alternative, she placed two fingers into her mouth and released a shrill whistle that immediately halted all conversation. Once satisfied that she had garnered their full attention, the blonde plastered a smile on her face and mustered up as much enthusiasm as she possibly could.

 

Having the ability to whip such boisterous and disorderly women into shape was something she took great pride in. Intimidation was the key to gaining respect; without such a technique, she may as well be teaching pre-school children how to sit down and listen to what was being said without being distracted.

 

“Firstly, I’d like to thank each and every one of you for, so far, obeying the ONE rule of being a Bella… which is to not sleep with any of the Trebles.”

 

The large Australian frowned, “Didn’t you tell us this last week too?”

 

Aubrey rolled her eyes, “I certainly did. Why do you think?”

 

Every single girl in the auditorium turned towards the self-proclaimed sex-maniac, very surprised that Stacie had been included in Aubrey’s original compliment. If anything, they had expected Aubrey to call her out... a while ago. The girl in question realised everyone had gone quiet and stopped filing her nails. Upon noticing that all eyes were indeed on her, she looked around, affronted. Eyes roaming over the shocked faces of her _friends_ , she held a manicured hand to her chest. “I am insulted that you think that I, of all people, would have broken that rule! Do you really think that sex is my top priority?! I only have it six times a day!”

 

Aubrey raised an eyebrow.

 

The taller brunette then re-considered her own words, before erupting in a fit of giggles. “Actually, I’m not insulted because that does sound like me. Boy, if that rule were not in place, I’d have gone through every single Treble… twice!” She went back to filing her nails.

 

Cynthia-Rose helpfully pointed out that no one would ever catch her sleeping with a Treble, or any guy for that matter, whilst Lily quietly commented that no one would catch her full stop. The Bellas were not sure if that was even what Lily said; some thought they heard the words “bank robbery”, and others heard the word “vampire”.

 

Rolling her eyes once more and letting out a loud sigh in the process, Aubrey turned her attention back to Stacie. “I’m especially proud of you Stacie. I know how hard it must have been for you to control yourself.” Chloe knew Aubrey well enough to know that she was subtly being condescending... or maybe not so subtly. Sometimes it was hard to tell the difference.

 

Choosing to ignore the response “ _very hard_ ”, Aubrey continued with what she had been saying. “Now, Stacie has just brought it to my attention that, although you’re all big girls and can take care of yourself, I need to remind you all about safe sex-”

 

A loud guffaw interrupted the blonde and, much to her annoyance, Beca retorted, “I’m surprised you even know what sex is, Cap'n Barbie! With a stick so far up your ass, I’m certain it’s been years since you were last laid!”

 

Fat Amy and Stacie burst into laughter, whilst the other girls hid their giggles behind their hands. Beca took great pleasure in watching Aubrey’s face turn scarlet in anger, steam practically erupting from her ears.

 

Even Chloe found it hilarious, though her eyes never once strayed from Beca. _God her cockiness was sexy_ , she thought whilst biting her lip lustfully.

 

Aubrey was reduced to nothing more than low growls and muttered curse words; she looked as though she were seconds away from either killing the alt girl or puking all over her.

 

Seeing that her best friend was of absolutely no use, the blonde breathed in and out deeply. Once. Twice. After years of softball, she knew that her pitch pipe was a perfect throwable object… it was too tempting.

 

Pretending to not notice Fat Amy high-fiving Beca or the brunette smirking at Chloe, who promptly turned away, flustered; Aubrey spoke once more.

 

“Moving swiftly on… We’re going to start with some safe sex trivia questions. What is the _“Big A”_ that prevents pregnancy?” Aubrey looked at each girl in turn, knowing the question was easy enough for them to answer.

 

A few moments of silence ensued... followed by more silence.

 

Stacie continued filing her nails, not even bothering to think of an answer. Chloe continued with her usual habit of staring at Beca, who in turn was gazing back with her signature smirk. Fat Amy had her phone out and was not-so-subtly Googling the answer, whilst Cynthia-Rose was looking at the Australian’s phone from over her right shoulder. Jessica and Ashley had moved their chairs closer together and were whispering to one another and Lily simply stared at Aubrey, her eyes wide and unblinking.

 

The Bellas’ captain was seconds away from giving up when Fat Amy suddenly shouted out boisterously “A CONDOM!”, scaring the daylights out of everyone present.

 

A scattering of snickers could be heard over the otherwise silent hall. Aubrey simply stared at the larger blonde as though questioning, not for the first time, whether this _intelligence_ was the norm for her. Before she could comment, she was once more interrupted, this time by Stacie.

 

“A dildo!” The seductive brunette looked awfully proud of her answer; she exuded such confidence because, _of course she was right_. Beca caught Chloe’s eye once more and winked, the older girl smiling dreamily back at her; they were obviously experts in this field.

 

Cynthia-Rose decided to contribute to the quiz; “A lesbian!” She knew that pregnancy was never going to be a worry for her. She smiled coyly at Stacie, who in turn cackled at her hidden, but not-so-hidden, justification.

 

Aubrey closed her eyes and counted backwards from ten. This was only the first question; _Good Lord, where on earth were these answers even coming from?_

 

“No…you’ve all misunderstood. The word itself starts with the letter ‘A’!”

 

Standing up from her chair suddenly, Beca shouted the words, “AN ARROGANT DOUCHE!” And it was no puzzle as to whom she was referring to.

 

_Tom_ , Chloe’s ex, who cheated on her with several different people throughout their 3 month relationship. Chloe nodded eagerly at Beca’s answer, knowing it to be 100% accurate because _fuck him_.

 

Before Aubrey could tell Beca and Chloe to keep it in their panties, a quiet murmur could be heard from Lily. All the girls leaned closer to her, a hint for her to repeat what she’d just said.

 

“A fetish for vampires.”

 

The girls then slowly edged their chairs away from the Asian girl, not particularly interested in hearing anything more from her.

 

After another long and awkward silence, Chloe screamed; “A JESSE!” and promptly burst into peals of laughter, soon followed by the other girls; Beca practically falling from her chair in hysterics. Even Aubrey cracked a smile at her best friend’s dislike for the guy. As much as she had initially worried about the alt girl breaking the _Bella Oath_ , it was as clear as day that this would no longer be an issue.

 

It was Stacie’s comment; “Anal” that was the final straw and soon enough, each girl completely lost it, tears streaming down their faces. Knowing that this Bellas’ exercise was a lost cause, the blonde captain simply joined with the merriment and let the girls have their fun.

 

Her correct answer of “abstinence” was lost in the laughter.

**Author's Note:**

> Who else cracked a rib from laughing? XD


End file.
